He is 'The Clubbing One'. Allow me to introduce you to... Moo

After coming out of his mothers womb, Moo went down the pub, able to get served due to the fact he has always looked 30yrs old (which is a good thing now that he is in fact 35yrs). It is from Moo's fair lips that the word "Smorn" was born, wishing passers-by all the best for their day ahead. As the pivot for the Smorn troupe, Moo has always felt as though he can spend the majority of an evening whilst out with the lads, sat on a nearby Fruit-Machine, although it is without doubt that his presence is always felt due to his constant farting and bleating of words such as "smorn, chaps, sosage and beautiful" that can echo throughout a pub in the most sordid of ways.

Moo is a gentle giant with a craving for the good life, spending his hard-earned on anything that would have a Priest screaming for his arrest, such as gambling, clubbing, drinking, smoking and fashionable items such as a floral pillow-case. In 1996, Moo stole a dart-board from a city-centre pub, although whilst making his getaway, one of his shoes came off, allowing the pursing doorman to bargain for the return of the board. The options rattled around Moo's head like a pea in a whistle... "Moccasin or dart-board? Moccasin or dart-board? Sosage or chaps?". It was only when Moo had realised that unless he wanted to declare himself a stork, he would not be able to enter any more pubs without both shoes, that he reluctantly handed back the dart-board. To this day, Moo cannot bare to look at Eric Bristow due to bringing back memories of his loss.

Moo is a talented dancer, once appearing on stage at the Yate Village Fete, strutting his stuff to 'The Funky Gibbon'. It was only after the Church Secretary ordered him off the stage did Moo realise that he wasn't in his bedroom as first assumed, dancing in front of the mirror... Let us learn a tad more about Moo, with answers from his very own lips...

Full Name: Moo Ashman

Known As: Moo

Interests: Gambling, clubbing & booze

Likes: Spending money

Dislikes: Having no money

Favourite Song: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

Favourite Film: Lord of The Rings

Ambition: To look like Phil Collins

Perfect Woman: Anything with breasts

Hero: Phil Collins

Favourite Drink: JD & Coke

Favourite Pub/Club: Anywhere with a fruit machine

Favourite Book: Lord of The Rings

Who Do You Look Like: Lee Marvin

Most Embarrassing Moment: Losing a shoe whilst stealing a dart-board from a pub

Favourite Saying: Stay beautiful

Home